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Student Center Forums, student.com forums, teen forums, teen boards, Gay/Les/Bi, Post Your Coming Out Story
Jeff is looking to update the Gay Student Center and is looking for new and better content to add.
One of the things that is needed are new and better coming out stories.
I'm sure that some of you can see the value in reading others coming out stories if you've just come across SCN.
Recall some of your coming out experiences?
Who did you tell?
What made you want to tell them?
How did you feel before you told them?
After? What funny coming out moments did you experience?
What did you learn about yourself by coming out?
What did you learn about other people?
What was the hardest part?
What would be your advice to those who have not come out?
These are a few of the questions in which answers are very much appreciated.
In posting your coming out story, please indicate whether it is okay for SCN to use your story, your username, and if it's okay use a picture from your profile, and if so which one you'd like SCN to use if we chose to use pictures.
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I came out in two sort of 'segments' to my mom.
When I was finally sure that I was gay, I was fairly certain I wouldn't tell my parents, even though I knew they were liberal and would be accepting of me, I was still completely terrified of the idea of them thinking of me differently in any way.
One day, about a week before thanksgiving, my mom had called and we got into a discussion of how she really wanted me to come up to the house to have thanksgiving with the family.
I'd just had quite a nasty fight with my stepdad over the phone (over something completely stupid and irrelevant to anything of substance) and was refusing to come up to the house.
She was talking about how important it was for me to forgive him and be with the family, she started to tell me a long story about when she was younger, and nearly hated her stepfather, she deeply regretted it and didn't want the same for me, and - for some reason - I suddenly felt compelled to say something to my mom.
I can't remember how we got on the topic, but we were talking about girls, and I remember saying "Mom, there's something I need to tell you, but I'm absolutely terrified to say it." She didn't know what I was talking about, and sheepishly, I said "I'm not...
Typically romantically inclined." There was a moment of silence before she said "Nick, are you gay?" I replied "No, but I think I might be bi." I was paralyzed with fear, and I love and trust my mom - I just couldn't deal with it.
She proceeded to tell me that she loved me, and nothing mattered to her more than my happiness, which truly made me feel better, but I couldn't come completely clean with her.
I went to thanksgiving dinner and it was a great time.
The next time the subject came up was over the summer, about 7 months later.
I had been mentioning my "friend" Kaz, and all the time we were spending together.
Eventually, after one of these conversations, my mom said something along the lines of "So he's your boyfriend, right?" And I replied in the affirmative.
It was completely fine.
That was basically the complete circle of coming out to my mother.
When I returned to Tucson after the summer, my stepdad and mom were quite excited to learn all about Kaz.
Coming out to friends and other people has been much less dramatic (obviously) - parents, for most people, are the hardest to come out to.
Even though my story isn't the traditional "drop the bomb" story, it couldn't have gone better in my mind.
My mom understands me and is happy for me, she loves me and wants nothing more than for me to be happy and safe and loved.
I love her for that.
Feel free to use my name/screen name/pictures/whatever.
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I only cameout to my mum last year..I did it in a letter, which wasnt the way i wanted to do it but it was the way it happened.
The next day i get a txt from my mum saying " meet me intown" so we meet up at my favorite cafe and shes like " first;
Well,no duh. Second;yay gay son!"
Apparently she always wanted a gay son.
As for coming out to my friends, I dont actually make a point of telling people, i let them figure it out and then the ask me.
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Never came out of the closet, because once you're out, it's too hard to get back in.
And i'm still not sure of my sexuality to want to come out.
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I told people I'm gay.
The End.
Quote: : I will not let him touch my boobs.
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Hey - something real important about this.
If you want your story to be told, but want to remain completely anonymous, then instead of writing it here, you can simply email it to me at Jeff@student.com under the topic of "coming out story." (I get a million emails a day, so unless it's in the subject line, I could miss it.) Put your age and your gender, but you don't have to identify yourself in any other way.
One more thing.
As the oldtimers around here know, we still have basically no staff, unfortunately.
And that is why we have been so slow to add new content.
However, Tom (username=tom), who does part time tech work here, has set us up with a wiki which is now going to make it very easy to add new content.
So we are going to start adding lots of new content.
And we will solicit your thoughts on what types of subjects should be included in a GLBTQ Resource section.
But we know that the whole "Coming Out" section is something that would interest you guys a lot, so we figured that we would start there.
Thanks much to wilddawg, who has helped construct the wiki for our new teen resource guide, and to rickweber, who is taking a real interest in developing this section.
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I probably shouldn't because I have only told maybe 2 people while not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
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Quote: : never came out of the closet, because once you're out, it's too hard to get back in.
And i'm still not sure of my sexuality to want to come out.
One of the reasons I sometimes regret coming out at all.
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I didn't exactly come out of the closet, but I have dropped hints to my parents.
I think the fact that almost all of my political conversations with them ends up at GLBT at some point, in praise or support of it, and that in my global awareness group in school one of my main issues that I want to cover in the group is GLBT, makes my mother think that I might be gay or bi, which she would be right if she thinks that.
In my school I am somewhat out, in that I don't hide it, and most of the people I talk to know, because one of my friends has way too big of a mouth.
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Quote: : Quote: : never came out of the closet, because once you're out, it's too hard to get back in.
And i'm still not sure of my sexuality to want to come out.
One of the reasons I sometimes regret coming out at all.
I wished the same thing when I first came out.
But then I kept getting gayer and gayer until I went full circle and realized I was trans.
Yay me!
I'll put my story up later...
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I actually have two coming out stories, one far more pleasant than the other.
I didn't really start questioning my sexuality until I was around thirteen or fourteen.
I had a vague understanding that I liked guys around the age of ten, but didn't understand what that meant until I was older.
Like most adolescent boys, I starting looking up porn - obviously of my flavor.
Well, my parents happened to come home early from a party (don't they always?), and the resulting confrontation was not exactly pretty.
My parents assumed that I was too young to know what I really wanted, and so I was sent to a therapist for a semester.
It wasn't any religious sort of thing - they just wanted a quick way to de-gayify me.
And while it did manage to help me sort through much of my depression at the time, the main "purpose" of the sessions obviously didn't take.
For the next three or four years, I went through a serious internal struggle.
Coupled with an then intense devotion to the Catholic Church, I was self loathing, and went in cycles of indulgence and guilt with my attractions.
Needless to say, I wasn't very social as a young teenager.
But in my senior year of college, I started to let go of that struggle.
I began to understand, through readings and the internet, what my sexual feelings really entailed.
I ended up picking up a book about young gay people, and after reading it, it just clicked - I was for sure gay, and that wasn't something I had to fight.
I actively came out then - but only to a select audience.
I told my best friend over the phone - ironically, I was so nervous, I hid in my actual closet when I called him.
I told my sister soon after, and then my mom caught me again - without porn this time, mind you.
She wasn't happy about it, but she didn't try to change me this time, and she promised to keep it a secret from my dad.
Four years later, she's more or less accepted me the way that I am.
My dad still doesn't know, and won't know until I graduate, seeing as he supports me financially.
But other than that, I'm almost completely out to the public, and I really couldn't be happier.
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My advice to anyone that is thinking about coming out to your parents is make sure you have a pretty good idea of how they will react before you do.
And if you think that they will react badly don't tell them or tell anyone else that would tell them.
They can make your life a living hell.
My parents locked me in my own house, wouldn't let me be in contact with anyone, tried to get a restaining order against the girl i was involved with, put me in counseling, and escorted me to school and went to classes with me so that no one could talk to me.
Which was really different from my friends, coworkers, and then all of their parents.
Because they all loved me and cared about me after I told them, my parents were another story.
If something like this does happen to you, get help...
Don't just let it happen.
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Has anyone seen the coming out monologues?
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Quote: : My parents locked me in my own house, wouldn't let me be in contact with anyone, tried to get a restaining order against the girl i was involved with, put me in counseling, and escorted me to school and went to classes with me so that no one could talk to me.
Eep. When I came back from LA this summer, my mom/stepdad giddily demanded to know all about my boyfriend and see pictures.
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Quote: : My advice to anyone that is thinking about coming out to your parents is make sure you have a pretty good idea of how they will react before you do.
And if you think that they will react badly don't tell them or tell anyone else that would tell them.
They can make your life a living hell.
My parents locked me in my own house, wouldn't let me be in contact with anyone, tried to get a restaining order against the girl i was involved with, put me in counseling, and escorted me to school and went to classes with me so that no one could talk to me.
Which was really different from my friends, coworkers, and then all of their parents.
Because they all loved me and cared about me after I told them, my parents were another story.
If something like this does happen to you, get help...
Don't just let it happen.
That's disgusting.
Your parents need to rethink their "parenting skills".
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