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Why the Chicken Crossed the Road - snopes.com
I got this from a friend today.
It's an update of one I know I've seen before somewhere.
Quote: : Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The
chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure -- right from Day One!
-- that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
But then,
this really isn't about me
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain.
Alone.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The
chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%
reboot.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
We need some black chickens
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,
I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider
information.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
DR.
PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.
What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions.
I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!
You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting?
In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
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I saw a chicken crossing the road to get to Canuckistan's house for happy hour.
Much chicken dancing ensued.
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I win! I win! I just knew the first response would be about me!
You all owe me $20, you know who you are ...
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Klingon chickens do not cross roads!
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Quote: : I saw a chicken crossing the road to get to Canuckistan's house for happy hour.
Much chicken dancing ensued.
And then they all fell asleep on his bed.
You forgot that part.
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Quote: : Klingon chickens do not cross roads!
They conquer them.
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Quote: : They conquer them.
That sounds like something Chuck Norris' chickens would do.
His chickens don't cross the road.
The other side comes to them!
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Chick-a-chow
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Quote: : Kitties chick-a-chow To be fair, is an a-chow if there's a bunch of new stuff and a lot of the old stuff isn't there?
It's similar, as I said in my original post, but these are new jokes on an old theme.
Avril
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Quote: : Jocko And then they all fell asleep on his bed.
You forgot that part.
He did not, I don't recall anyone ever falling asleep in Canuckistan's bed.
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Quote: : To be fair, is an a-chow if there's a bunch of new stuff and a lot of the old stuff isn't there?
It's similar, as I said in my original post, but these are new jokes on an old theme.
A -chow can also be simply a reference to an earlier thread on the same topic.
It just means it's been discussed before, here's the thread where it was discussed so we don't start all over again.
I thought it relevant since you mentioned in the OP that you'd seen it before.
Four Kitties
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I liked the old version's Bush one better..."Out in West Texas we don't need nobody to tell us how chickens cross the road, at least that's what my advisors tell me."
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